We’re sure World Cup fever has hit you by now. Teams picked, bets placed and many a sleepy head in work dissecting the previous night’s antics. But have you spared a moment to think about the important stuff? Like if footballers were DIY tools, what tools would they be? We didn’t think so and took the liberty of putting together a little list of World Cup stars and their doppelganger tools.
1) Peter Crouch / Garden Rake
His height has made him one of the most recognisable players in the game and arguably the most likeable. Ironically it’s thanks to his skill with his feet not his height that has made him one of the premier league’s top strikers.
2) Gazza / Water sprinkler
Gazza crying at the 1990 World Cup semi-final made this an iconic football pic. His emotion was down to a yellow card that ruled him out of the final. The only difference between Gazza’s tears and this garden sprinkler’s nourishing water, is that Gazza’s tears were in vain. England never made it to the final.
3) Nobby Stiles / Lawnmower
Nobby Stiles hero or villain, depending on where you’re from your opinion may deviate. There’s no denying however that this 1966 World Cup winner has cut more grass with his crunching tackles than most ride-on mowers.
4) Toni Schumacher / Chainsaw
Schumacher’s brutal tackle of French defender Patrick Battiston in the 82 World Cup is still recognised as one of the most dangerous tackles ever made in any sport, Battiston would later slip into a coma. Schumacher’s blatant lack of remorse resembles that of a Chainsaw falling the largest tree.
5) Dunga / Bucket
This defensive midfielder captained the Brazil team that won the 94 World Cup and subsequently went on to manage them. Dunga’s drive to succeed makes him the quintessential water carrier.
6) Luis Suarez / Vice Grips
As one of the most memorable moments of World Cup 2014. Luis Suarez’s infamous biting of Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini will be a talking point for many a world cup to come. We can only imagine the vice like grip he would have.
7) Ilian Kiriakov /Garden Gnome
Of the past famous Bulgarian players, Stoichkov was known for his skill, Lechkov for his goal scoring prowess and Kiriakov, well, for his uncanny resemblance to a garden gnome.